Time Waits For No Man, But It Waits For Women.

It's 6pm on a Friday evening, blackberry devices around Lagos are beeping to a harmony, friends are communicating the plans for tonight. It's a woman's birthday. Plans have been made prior to this date and everyone involved has cleared their schedule to make time to come out and celebrate with a friend. Men are involved too, gathering intel from other men as to how the night is going to go. Those without cars would have to shotgun with those that do. The woman in question, the celebrant is in tight correspondence with the men that have cars as to how her fellow women would be picked up. All is going well, and the song that plays in my head is "I've gotta a feeling... that tonight's gonna be a good night!"

8:31pm, the final round of confirmations and last minute adjustments are made. The woman needs more cars, her friends have invited their friends. The intel gets to me at 8:35pm, I acknowledge my team leader and plan my pick up strategy. The pick up location is slightly off my route, but I didnt mind cause at least I wasnt picking up guys. The more girls, the better the party. The song in my head changes "We need some more girls in here... too many men too many many men!"

10:02pm, my team leader sends me an intel on my spy kit.

Team Leader - Boyfriend or Husband of the woman celebrating her birthday
Intel - Blackberry Messenger Message or a Text Message
Spy Kit - Blackberry Device or iPhones Only.

As I read the intel am slightly struck with mixed feelings, the intel reads:

[Change of plans. All Tangos are at HQ.]

Tango - Friend of the woman or any female in general that would be partying with us tonight.
HQ - Head Quarters or house of the woman. (HQ changes for specific missions)

And so, my mixed feelings are strong and it's because I've been down this road before. I should be pleased I dont have to go off route to pick up Tangos, but for some reason, I just dont seem thrilled. And as the night went on, I'd soon rediscover what I already knew. The song in my head changes again "Who runs the world? Girls! Who runs this motherf*cker? Girls!"

11:00pm, I take a shower, freshen up, get half dressed and relax as I try to finish up Season 1 of Game Of Thrones. I send an intel to my Team Leader...

[Agent M standing by. Systems are a go. Awaiting orders. Over.]

He replies...

[Copy that Agent M. Hold position. Over.]

I reply...

[Roger that Team Leader.]

And then I wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

As a gemini, time n I arent always on good terms, it's either am too early, or too late. But never on time. But tonight, I was early and ready. And waiting became painful.

12:06am, Team Leader calls me, we were rolling out. Plan was simple, I meet him up at his and then we (all the guys) convoy to HQ to pick the Tangos. It was a simple pick up mission. All logistics had been worked out, we knew exactly how many they were and who would enter who's car. We had done this numerous times and we were good at it.

12:17am, I arrive at Team Leader's house. I was the last to arrive due to my location. I didnt need to get out of the car. I honked, flashed, put on my double pointers and the convoy moved. The song in my head changes again "In a Ferrari n jaguar switching four lanes, top down screaming out MONEY AINT A THANG!"

12:30am, we arrive at HQ. Now for some reason, I dont know why I expected the ladies to be outside the gate waiting and even vexing that we made them wait, till now, as I write this, I still dont know why I expected that. Well am sure u know already that that wasnt the case.

They werent ready yet. *car engines go off, street lights follows, darkness covers HQ, cold wind blows*

The song in my head changes "Dont piss me off!"

As the sweat trickled down my temple, I stood next to the Team Leader, trying to understand the scenario before us. The questions that flooded my mind were...
1. Didnt they know we were coming?
2. I thought they gave the green light at 12:06am?
3. What on earth were they still doing?
4. Isnt this a yearly event, isnt this a birthday, didnt they have one year notice?
5. They decided to meet at HQ right? Wasnt that intended to save time n energy?
6. Were they taking it in turns to get dressed whilst the other cheered and approved?
7. Didnt the celebrant say she wanted ALL BLACK? How hard was the dress choice?
8. No really didnt they know we were coming?
9. Is there gonna be a red carpet at the club?
10. We doing what we did last yr right? So how difficult is it to go through the same notions and be at gate as we arrived?
11. Mofe how ever did u expect them to be at the gate waiting?
12. Can we leave them and they take a cab?
13. Seriously though, DIDNT THEY KNOW WE WERE COMING???

And then it hit me. I looked at my watch, 1:36am. A gave a glance to my Team Leader and I knew we were playing the same song in our heads "If u call African woman woman she no go gree, she go saaaaaaay, she go say she be Lady oh!"

As I walked back to my car defeated, I knew exactly why I had mixed feelings at 10:02pm.

On a closing, here's my theory: The Number of Tangos in a specific location at any time (T), is directly proportional to the time taken for them to be ready and dressed.


Time Waits For No Man, But It Waits For Women.

Pic of the day: Hossam & Ruby by Mofe Duncan.